Happy July! This is the month my book comes out! No firm date yet but I will let you know. In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about one of the first insights I had when working with people living with dementia.
In my book, Looking Past Dementia, you’ll find amusing anecdotes along with ones that reveal challenges that may arise for individuals experiencing dementia and those who support them. Whether you care for a family member at home, work in a memory care community, or are simply friends with someone dealing with dementia, you are bound to notice some challenges.
When a person we care about is flummoxed by all that is happening in their brain without their consent, it falls to us to respond in a way that will make things a bit easier for them.
When I first started out in dementia care, I realized quickly that any hurdles I faced were, in fact, a gift. These are splendid opportunities to learn—to understand more deeply what is helpful and what is not for one experiencing the unsettling situation of brain change.
How exactly do we do this? CARES® Interactive Training provides some great ideas below:
When someone is RESISTING CARE…Promote Calm, be Respectful. Don’t push; try again later. When you come back, ask very politely, with a soft tone of voice, “Do you have time to help me now?”
When someone is BEGGING, REPEATING, CALLING OUT (“HELP ME HELP ME!”)...Investigate, Increase Comfort. Check for pain, give comfort, a hug, or a pat on the back. Touch their hands to see if they are too cold…Is something in the environment upsetting them?... Let them know you are with them… (“I am with you all the way”)…Engage with the person; do not ignore them. Distract (talk or sing).
When someone is SWEARING OR INSULTING…Take Things in Stride…Don’t take it personally. Investigate…Focus on connecting. Limit stimulation. Look for what might be triggering this.
When someone is BOTHERING OR THREATENING OTHERS…Promote calm…Investigate. Use Teamwork, to get help to ensure residents are safe and to interest the person in doing something else. Try 1:1 attention. Remember that the person doing this has lost their social filter and cannot help it. Validate the person’s feelings by reflecting them back. Get clues from family as to what might be effective. Involve the person in something that is more meaningful to them.
When someone is URINATING AND DEFECATING somewhere other than the toilet…
Investigate…learn the person’s toileting patterns, give reminders…adjust toileting schedule…get rid of items that might be confused with a toilet (potted plants, wastebaskets). Paint the walls with a contrasting color so that it is easier to see the toilet. Increase Comfort…Clean up the person ASAP...Use clothing with elastic waistbands for easier access.
When someone is UNDRESSING…Investigate…Are they too warm? Is clothing too tight? Is there a skin problem? Take Things in Stride…Promote Calm.
When someone is KISSING OR TOUCHING others…Increase Comfort and Pleasure for the Person…Remember that the need for touch is a basic human need. Provide sensory activities. Respond to the person with a friendly touch, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back…a shoulder massage or hand massage. Assess the person’s need for 1:1 attention. Encourage families to be affectionate with their loved ones…Tell the person that you need a hug, and thank them when they give you one.
When someone is HITTING, BITING, SCRATCHING OR PINCHING…Investigate…find out what the triggers are. Slow down when providing care…Avoid startling the person, i.e., do not reach across a person during a shower, reach behind their head…VALIDATE the person’s feeling (“I can see you’re upset.”) Apologize to the person if they are upset with you. Use Teamwork for a change of face. Promote Calm…Provide soothing activities (singing, music, hand massage).
All the best!
Marysue